If you have not done so already, go read my former posts as they lay the foundation for this post and posts to come.
I also see salvation used/is using the same framework. The betrothal is the moment that you believe in your heart that Christ is God, He died, and rose, and you agree to the contract (allegiance) to follow Him. (Romans 10:9) This would also be described as being born again, or born of the Spirit, etc…. has several names in scripture. This also fits into being arranged (predestined, Romans 8:29), sometimes suddenly or sometimes like marrying a childhood friend. There will be a point of belief as described in Romans 10:9, then the covenant is binding like any betrothal. At that point Gods gift is the Holy Spirit and eternal life. The thief at the cross (Luke 23:40~42) had a very short betrothal and never got to experience the wedding/confirmation. I would describe when Jesus breathed on the disciples after His resurrection and the Holy Spirit entered them (John 20:22) they entered the betrothal.
Then there was the betrothal period, 40 days for them (Acts 1~2), for the Ethiopian eunuch it was moments (Acts 8), but it could be seconds to years in reality, when God baptized them with fire at Pentecost as He said He would. That confirmed the marriage, the power of the Holy Spirit. Same for us, sadly there are many that never get past the betrothal and experience the power of being fully in Christ. They enjoy the water baptism (the party) but never experience the fire (power of the Spirit). Again the covenant is binding at betrothal, but experiencing the power of Christ you are then fully set to do His will.
Paul demonstrated the honeymoon period by leaving at the end of Acts 9, and not coming back into the picture until Acts 11, quite a few years later. We experience this in our own lives by the intense desire to read Scripture and to be discipled. Now that is where Ephesians 5 fits in, we are to develop our relationship and expected follow our husband (Christ) by obedience. As you can see, eternal life is a free gift (Romans 6:23), and we are under grace (Ephesians 2:8), but we are also expected to obey (1 Peter 1:2) what we are commanded, works are not required for salvation, obedience is expected. Just like any marriage, to be married you don’t have to be in obedience to your spouse, but not being in obedience will degrade or even destroy the relationship.
Obedience and faithfulness, although they are different things, are very closely related as you cannot have one without the other. You can’t be unfaithful yet obedient and you can’t be disobedient while being faithful. The act of obedience it’s self is not a work, it does not make any sense being more obedient, you are either obedient or not, and when you are not grace is what puts you back into right standing. The fruit of obedience would be the work, that is not what salvation is dependent on, its the fact you did it. Since we all cannot say we are completely obedient then its grace that saves, through the faith we have have in Christ. That does not excuse the fact we need to strive to obedience. (Romans 6:15~18)
Like any marriage, each one is unique. So will our relationship with Christ, that is what makes being a Christian so dynamic and why legalism has no place. Now about the controversial part, as with marriage, is there divorce? Well, God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), but He did make the provision to divorce on unfaithfulness. Does that mean those after betrothal He may opt to “divorce” if they decide to live a life of unfaithfulness? I have no idea. If you take in account this framework / model and apply several of His parables about the Kingdom, the unfaithful ones where (Matthew 8:12) “cast out into the outer darkness; in that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”, even the servants that where initially accepted. Then there is the blotting out mentioned in Revelation 3:5, and don’t forget Matthew 7:21~23. Paul used branches as a example in Romans 11:21. But, God is very forgiving and patient, and gave Israel grace like in Hosea, and He also hates divorce, but here is the thing, if we knew God would not “divorce” a believer that lived unfaithfully, then people would use that loophole to live life unfaithfully. So I would say, why chance it? We could go back and forth on it all day. Teach after coming to Christ and being born again, betrothed, born of the Spirit, etc… get baptized (in fire) and start the work He laid out for you. Then the question will never have to be answered in this life.
Yes we are secure in Christ just like being secure in marriage, you just don’t stop being married in a whim or a bad decision. You don’t wake up and its gone without any knowledge or forewarning just because of a minor thing or even a major thing. Also can you be “living together” and not married? Yes, Jesus talked about that in Matthew 7:21~23, even those that preached His name and did miracles He did not “know” them, this is the same Greek word “ginōskō ” that is used to describe intimacy in marriage as in Matthew 1:25. There are plenty of those around that play by the rules of religion but don’t have the relationship. (1 Timothy 3:5)
Keep in mind the sinner’s prayer is nowhere in scripture (neither are alter calls), as there is also no specific vows or thing to say for a marriage to exist. Its a commitment of the heart, where no one but the individual knows. That is not to say that a salvation prayer will not issue in the covenant, but it’s just words if the heart is not willing to enter the covenant, or if the covenant is not being taught and people are just being mislead to believe that there is nothing past the prayer. An emotional conversion also does not always indicate a change of heart either, we are not to judge the salvation of a individual because only Christ knows the heart. (Matthew 9:4), be we are not also to assume that getting someone to say a few words will save them. There are no examples in Acts where the disciples had to talk someone into Christ, they are all examples of people who heard the Good News and wanted to know what to do. Those that did not care or just wanted to argue they left alone. We western people want to draw people in and convince them, there are no examples of that. Paul, when in Athens (Acts 17), did not book the Areopagus for an event. He was invited after some others heard what he was saying and wanted to hear more. For some reason we want to ignore the fact that the Holy Spirit calls a person, not music, lights and being loud with a good emotional story. You will also notice Paul was not slamming the pulpit and telling everyone they where sinners and to repent, he literally just was sharing the gospel. Peter’s first sermon in Acts 2 he just pointed out unbelief and shared the gospel, we need to stop condemning people and start sharing the gospel as it is. The Holy Spirit will do the rest (Romans 10:14).
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